What is nostalgia? How can it help us? How can it hold us back? And what are it’s origins?
A song, a smell in the air, a taste in your mouth, or even an image and suddenly a part of you has traveled through time and space. Sometimes we hold these close to us for comfort like a weighted blanket. Other times we share the story with someone else yearning to be heard. Unfortunately, there are other times where we regret where we are, who we are, and even shame younger generations for not living our lives.
Returning to Pain
The idea of Nostalgia originates in the 17th century. The word itself is a gift to us from the ancient Greeks. Nostos “to return” and algo “pain.” In its original use in the written word it spoke to the deep feelings of sorrow and homesickness that soldiers had being away from home and family.
Today it has come to mean something, though still bittersweet, that is more positive. We have a sentimental longing for a moment from our past that gives us peace, often in a time of transition or stress. I am in the middle of a period of transition right now, and the nostalgic waves are hitting hard, but I am using these visits to the past to recalibrate my inevitable travels to the future, but that happens now. More on that later.
For now, I still believe the original meaning is still part of the experience of nostalgia and in it is a lesson that we do not often heed. We are still having a homecoming reunion with the pain and discovering the sublime if we pay attention.
The Past Will Change Your Life with Stranger Things
A little over a year ago I wrote an article here called “Music Will Change Your Life: Stranger Things“. In it I wrote about an analogy from the hit show Stranger Things that I still use as an analogy of nostalgia.
In season one in a flashback scene, Will and Jonathan are in the older brother’s bedroom sitting on the bed, facing the stereo as Should I Stay or Should I Go by the Clash is playing. They are lost together in the song. Jonathon asks Will if he really likes the music and Will says he does. Then the older brother tells him he is going to make Will a mix tape that will include this song.
This is happening while the parents having an argument in the background about how “messed up” Will is. Jonathan sees Will reacting to it so he closes the bedroom door, and briefly turns down the music. He tells young Will that he shouldn’t feel the need to pretend to like things others do if they are not going to accept you for the things you like. Especially their father. He then cranks up the stereo volume.
The song becomes a plot element where the memory of the music is literally used to bring Will back home…a return home from the upside down.
In another Stranger Things article I wrote last year, “Surviving the Upside Down: The Enduring Power of Nostalgia“, I continued the connection of music as a trigger for nostalgia.
In Season 4 of Stranger Things, my favorite character, Max, is held captive by the main antagonist, Vecna. Meanwhile, in the real world her friends have to find her favorite song and play it for her unresponsive body in the hopes the song can bring her back and prevent her death.
In the end of Season 3 of the show, Max faced some serious trauma in the manner in which her step brother died. In Brenna Yovanoff’s Stranger Things Book, “Runaway Max”, you get to know more about her childhood. Her life with her step father was one of abuse and isolation. Moving to the town of Hawkins, Indiana was further isolation for her.
Making friends was unexpected for Max and it provided healing. But the traumas she would experience would bring her back to isolation and distance. Her lifeline was music. “Running up that Hill” by Kate Bush would play on her Walkman over and over again as she walked through the halls. She could tune out the world but still be connected with something.
As she hears the song she is flooded with beautiful and poignant sentimental moments from her past in Hawkins, Indiana. Those past moments, the beauty in the midst of pain, give her the ability to fight to come home now to her friends where love waits.
My Personal Journey Now More Than Ever With Nostalgia as my North Star
I am still recovering from major surgery I had more than 4 weeks ago. The stitches are out and I am back at work, but I am still tender. While on prescription pain killers the first 10 days I was off social media and social interactions. I had to rely on others for my most basic needs including getting in and out of the shower and changing dressings.
When I returned to the real world from the bubble I discovered that my reactions to social media and tasks was different. The pain killers I was on created a disassociation. During that time I had no racing thoughts, trauma flashbacks, or anxiety (though I was in a great deal of pain, possibly more than I have ever experienced in my life). I am still sorting out how to navigate my life on this side of the recovery, but nostalgia is being my guide.
Sitting home for over 3 weeks had me listening to a great many albums, watching favorite tv shows, reading some old graphic novels, and grazing through photo albums and memories while interacting with people who love my book, Hearts of Glass Living in the Real World.
The memories are of moments with friends and family and sublime discovery. But like Will and Max, in each of these beautiful moments of the past there were things going on back then that were horrible and painful. But the heart and the mind use these moments of triggering connection to the beautiful moments that can, if I pay attention, bring me home.
What is it I remember fondly? Time with friends, people I loved, moments of beauty and laughter and shared tears with other beautiful people.
As I experience life today with the things that hurt and are scary, what can I take from that?
The knowledge of what got me through those hard times and what did not. How do I use that now without being stuck in the past like Marty McFly may have been if he did not have determination and a good friend and create a more hopeful future.
In these hard and difficult times I see in the sentimental and nostalgic lens that what got me through those moments was art, time with friends, moments with family, and exploration of love and creativity. Working harder did not get me through them, screaming into the abyss like an idiot on social media armed with angst and memes did not do anything for me (and before you claim there was no social media back then, I was on CompuServe back in 1983 and bulletin boards were toxic back then too…just lacking images and gifs).
I have a map to the way back home. So do you with every beautiful memory triggered by that song, that smell, that image. There was that ride or die friend, there was that night out that you had with virtually no money in your pocket. The lie of nostalgia is like the main villain’s (Vechna) lies to Max in Stanger Things.
“They can’t help you, Max. There’s a reason you hide from them. You belong here. With me.“
Some of the lies of the darker side of nostalgia are similar. Things were simpler then! I can’t make friends anymore! The art today sucks! Then is better than now and always will be!
Like Max was I am worn out, tired, sore, and spent. But fueled with the memories of laughing at the mall, a high school dance, the first kiss, meeting friends, laughter in a movie theater, and more I am standing up and running up that hill home. The simple moments of our past that happened in the midst of our life that is less than ideal is what propels me. Moments that made the pain bearable and even forgotten for a few moments. Bright points of light that can illuminate the darkness.
Nostalgia is not being lost in the past, it can help bring us back to life in the present. The remembrance of life show the bonds that we desire now and wish to have tomorrow. And we can still do that. We can make new friends and create new memories no matter how hard life is.
Even with the nostalgia we will have to fight like hell with these tools. And she has to fight like hell to get to them. But like Max, when we survive the storm we can declare, “I’m still here. I’m still here.”
THRIVE Initiative and Fade Away and Radiate!
My upcoming second YA novel Hearts of Glass: Fade Away and Radiate is not just a story. It’s the launchpad for the THRIVE Initiative, a survivor-centered project built on creative healing. By supporting the Indiegogo campaign for Hearts of Glass: Fade Away and Radiate you help fund writing, music and art workshops designed as safe creative spaces for trauma survivors. These workshops will let people channel pain into expression. In other words, the same nostalgic songs, paintings, and stories that helped us survive the past can now help us heal in the present.
Music and writing lie at the heart of this effort. The THRIVE Initiative will include songwriting sessions and story-sharing circles, so survivors can literally tell their stories or play the songs that saved them. Even simple acts like journaling can unlock feelings. In Fade Away and Radiate the characters cling to mixtapes and walkmans to pull themselves through darkness. In our workshop, sharing a favorite song or poem becomes a way to “run up that hill” together toward hope. Not only that but we will be using this to donate books and funds to DV and SA spces on the front lines.
Throughout this process, we become a found family. Survivors in the THRIVE workshops support each other as friends and allies, creating new bonds beyond blood. This communal approach to healing is built on the power of connection. By coming together to create music, art and stories, participants build the kind of safe, creative community that helps turn pain into progress.
Each day, every shared lyric, every poem, every supportive friendship reminds us that our nostalgic bonds, our art and found family, can shape a better tomorrow. The Fade Away and Radiate campaign shows that we can harness those bonds to uplift survivors today and declare, “I’m still here. I’m still here.
To learn more about supporting the upcoming Indiegogo and bring this to life, go to https://www.indiegogo.com/en/projects/patrickgreen-38415051/hearts-of-glass-fade-away-and-radiate
Still Reading?
Hey… thanks for sticking around to the end.
If this piece hit a chord or maybe made you think, I’d be honored if you’d check out my book, Hearts of Glass Living in the Real World. (by me- Pat Green)
It’s about survival, love, and the kind of found family that keeps you standing when the world gets mean. You can find it in print, ebook, or audiobook pretty much anywhere you get those things online. If you have trouble finding it you can get it directly from my publisher, Barnstormer Publishing! We can even hook you up with a signed copy for a few bucks more!
If you pick it up, thank you. If you review it, even better. Either way, just know this: your time, your support, your voice… they all matter more than you know.
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