In my years as a journalist I have covered Fan Cons with press pass in hand in Baltimore, Washington DC, Chicago, Joliet, and Milwaukee. But I have never been to one as a vendor. The experience would change me and that change came at the hands of Millennials and Gen Z. That change would come from women, LGBTIA+ people, and someone with multiple personalities. Change is beautiful and it solidifies my opinion that we who are Gen X or Boomer have a lot to learn and we need to move past our hubris.
Prologue: The Flight
I got to Chicago’s Midway Airport early in the morning for my flight. While waiting to board for my trip to Phoenix Fan Fusion to promote my book I looked around at the crowd. Many looked like what you would expect from people traveling to a red state. But there was one young woman who stood out. She had amazing PRIDE pins in an outfit that was part punk and part amazing rainbow unicorn socks. I told her that her outfit was fire. She lit up and said thank you. I then asked if she was going to Phoenix Fan Fusion. She said yes. Boarding started.
She boarded one group ahead of me. As I boarded I saw her in a window seat and a dude bro golfer snap back hat wearing guy in the isle seat. I moved a few rows back and found an isle seat. My favorite! Then I saw some of the elements walking in. I worried that she may end up sitting next to some toxic person. I took a deep breath, left my precious isle seat and moved next to her in the dreaded middle seat.
My plan was simple. Sit there, say nothing, give her space, and write a few chapters of my next book (which releases on black Friday!). In the last half hour of the flight she looks at me and starts talking loudly and excitedly about her girl crushes and love of ballet and her favorite author that will be at Phoenix Fan Fusion.
She spoke loudly and I could see the stares of other passengers. I was not going to let their energy ruin this light that just turned on. I matched her energy and affirmed her statements with questions. The rest of the plane was a blur and there was just the two of us and her interests and desire to be heard.
After we landed she apologized for talking so much. I thanked her and I wanted to do something to recognize how grateful I was. Then I signed one of my books and gave it to her as thank you for making the flight delightful. I did not do this for promotion, but she did give me shout out on social media that led to a signed copy someone requested through DM today.
Lesson. Be safe. Give space. Be intentional about both. Be generous. And when you listen you can learn that thing like ballet sound fucking awesome.
Act One: Friday and the Burlesque Dancer!
Friday arrived. The booth was open and the cosplayers and fans came in. Before they entered I got to know the authors around me. I am pretty sure I was the oldest one there. One or two were close. But the rest? LGBTQIA+, women, and other assorted beautiful Gen Z and Millennials. They had spicy books, scary books, dragon books, fantasy books. I had a YA book set in the 80s.
I felt out of my element and lost. Two old friends that live in the area bought some books, but I was choking. I did not know what to say. This was not like library appearances, bookstore appearances, and the other events I have hosted. In those people came specifically to see me. This? Tens of thousands of people and transactional sales with people who have no idea who I am.
Then came Tinkerbell. She was listening to me talking to someone else and very interested. We talked about the story and each other. She was a burlesque performer and would be performing after the con nearby as NoFace. She bought a copy, we took a selfy. Then she gave me a shout out on social media with far more followers than I do.
It improved my mood and I knew I could do this! Her encouragement and kindness proved I could. Now I just had to figure out what to do different. I went to my publishers home, grabbed my laptop, and spent hours thinking about everything the other writers said to people.
Questions, conversation points, how to ask someone to take the book home. I did not have knights or dragons or kink or horror. But I have a heroes journey, found family, 80’s vibes, and themes that are timely and sensitively written.
And my fellow authors and a burlesque performer made something else clear.
Lesson. I belong here.
Act 2: Everything is Awesome So I Panic
Day two I hit the ground running. I keep having wonderful conversations with beautiful people. I my story is not their thing, I now know what their thing is and I can tell them which of my neighbors to visit. Some of them did it for me. I was signing books and enjoying the people who took them home. Each of them got a quartz heart of glass from me and a piece of my heart.
In short time I am telling people, I only have 19 copies left, I only have 12 copies left, I only have 9 copies left. It would be an honor to sign a copy for you. Shortly after noon it is packed and I am having so many conversations and selling so many books but my triggers are high.
I had the encouragement and love of my publisher and the writers around me. But talking about characters who experienced trauma that are based on my real life experiences combined with all the people… it was too much. I was on overload and literally having flashbacks of the ghosts of my past. Ford and Cassie are Pat and Kathy. And Pat needed to go outside.
I let the table and made my way outside. Every person that bumped me was sensory panic and every nerve was alert and I was full of fight or flight or freeze. Finding my way outside was air and space and the 105 degree sun did not matter.
I wanted to go back in and keep going. Someone outside recognized I was in crisis and told me simply, “The books will still be there. The people will still be there. You need to be here now. Give yourself that space. We hugged. I did.
When I came back I was more fragile. I did continue with the engagement, but I spent more time getting to know the writers around me and affirming other people. The day ended with 5 copies left.
Lesson from a 19 year old non binary chain smoker dressed as Mabel from Gravity Falls. Self care is important. More important than success.
Act 3: Uno
The last day was the opposite of Saturday. It was sparse and quiet. It allowed time to wander the other booths and get some gifts for people I love back home. I had sublime conversations with the wonderous authors who affirmed and encouraged me. Friendships were made. Some familiar faces that bought books or almost bought books came back to visit. A few circled back to buy the book.
When 5 hit and the doors closed, I had one book left.
Lesson. Collaboration and networking happens best in friendship and love. Make time to enjoy the wonder and delights everyone else is.
Epilogue of Lessons and the Fusion of My Heart of Glass
In my columnist Jeremy Ritch’s article about Gatekeeping and my article about how Gen X need to not be cruel to future generations we’ve challenged the idea that we had it harder, did it better, or deserve to stand above. That work matters. But I realize now I’ve spent more time calling out harmful behavior than I have holding up what we can learn from younger generations and what we might gain if we start showing up as real.
Because what I witnessed, what I lived, at Phoenix Fan Fusion wasn’t just a good sales weekend. It was a masterclass in human connection. I didn’t sell books because I followed a perfect sales script.
I sold books when I stepped out of the performance and into relationship. I sold books when I made space for someone else to shine, when I honored another creator’s voice, when I listened with no agenda except to see them fully. And I was changed, not by celebrity encounters or big crowds, but by a young queer woman on a plane, a burlesque dancer, a nonbinary teen in cosplay, and a whole crew of women and queer writers who made me feel like I belonged even when I wasn’t sure I did.
I came in thinking I knew how to sell. I left knowing how to show up.
“Selling the sizzle” doesn’t work anymore. Not here, not now, not with this generation. And honestly? That’s a gift. The tools I used to rely on — leading questions, benefits, closing strategies — they’re fine in a boardroom. But on a convention floor surrounded by artists, queerdos, neurodivergent readers, and people who survived hard things and still showed up in glitter and pride buttons? Those tools felt useless.
Instead, I saw what matters now: identity over image. Curiosity over control. Themes over tropes. Vulnerability over volume.
And maybe most importantly, I saw how much this generation cares. Not just about the stories, but about how those stories are told. Over and over again, I heard variations of the same question: “Did you get it right?” Did you work with sensitivity readers? Did you listen to people with lived experience? Did you write with care? They don’t just want entertainment, they want ethics, authenticity, and connection. That’s not a barrier. That’s an invitation.
There’s no hack for this. No formula. No ten-step plan. There’s only truth, and how we offer it.
So here’s my truth: I got the story right. The people fell in love with Ford and Cassie and Jenny when I told them who they were and who I was. I got that right. I just wasn’t presenting it right. I’m learning. I’m fumbling sometimes. But I’m listening harder. I’m walking slower. I’m asking better questions. And I am more committed than ever to writing , and publishing, with the kind of fierce compassion that is in my heart and that I witnessed at that con.
I don’t want to be the voice in the room trying to prove I still matter.
I want to be the person who says, “You matter.”
That is the core of what Hearts of Glass Living in the Real World is about. And that is what I want my generation to be about.
We were raised to survive.
Maybe now we can learn to connect.
Stay totally awesome!
Stay True to you!
Want to Read the Book?
You can buy it here on paperback!
Hearts of Glass Living in the Real World is a powerful coming-of-age story about surviving trauma and finding hope. It follows three Midwest teens in the late 1980s who face some very real struggles – from abuse to feeling misunderstood – but they discover love and friendship that help them heal. It’s an emotional ride, but ultimately a hopeful one about how we survive life’s storms together.
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